Club Sandwich
March 14, 2023
It was 12:30 AM. I had just turned off a movie I couldn’t finish. I realized all I had to eat that day was a bag of jalapeno kettle chips. Those are my go-to snacks, I like the crunch of the chip. I was starving and bored too. I hadn’t really done anything all day. I thought maybe I’d go to bed and just eat more the next day, but I was still a little high from the joint I smoked earlier, and the munchies were getting to me. I knew one thing, no, two things; my credit card is maxed out and so takeout was a no-go. The other thing I knew was that I didn’t do groceries in at least a week and so there’d be no food left for me in my fridge. I could order pizza and use my debit but I was in no mood for pizza. I was going to take a drive somewhere.
The thing with having the munchies is that deciding on what you want is almost impossible. I used to spend hours just scrolling through UBER EATS. You want everything. I stayed in bed a bit longer, thinking, and drooling at food clips on my phone. Then it came to me. I sprung up from my bed with drive. I knew what I wanted.
One of Montreal’s greatest achievements is the Steamie. A Steamed hotdog sleeps in a steamed bun. Mustard, Relish, slaw. It’s a delight and a must-try if you ever find yourself drunk on a Saturday night. Personally, I take mine with mayo and ketchup, that’s it. Sometimes I’ll add onions if I’m feeling crazy. When I was younger I’d only take it with ketchup, but then I grew up.
At this point I was leaving a trail of my own saliva as I walked through my home, collecting my jacket, my keys, my cigarettes, and my shoes. Robby, my friend, roommate, and a fellow hungry man decided to join me on my mission.
There are a few places in Montreal to get the best hot dog experience. There’s La Belle Province, LaFleurs, or Mont-Royal hot dogs. But one of the most Iconic spots in Montreal has to be the Orange Julep. My mind was set. I needed to be there. I’ve never gone so late at night before and I was told there’d be a lively crowd hanging out, eating greasy poutines, shoveling down burgers, munching on pogos, washing it all down with their self-titled beverage, the orange julep. It’s a creamy orange juice that tastes like a creamsicle. I haven’t always been a fan of this place. I always thought the Julep was disgusting. I think my problem was that I was treating it like a normal drink when I should have been treating it like a dessert (In my opinion). Once I started saving it for after my meals I quickly switched lanes and became PRO JULEP.
After a 20-minute drive, we finally arrived. The giant orange ord is lit up for the surrounding streets and highways to see. Like a lighthouse bringing in people safely for a nice warm meal. The parking lot was full of customers sitting in their cars, eating, and talking due to the lack of indoor seating. There’s a very nostalgic feeling to it. It reminds me of movies like Dazed and Confused and American Graffiti. I managed to find a spot right beside the entrance.
We walked into the spot, blinded by the white lights. My eyes were sensitive due to the mix of genetics and marijuana. There was a group of young people holding up the line. By the sound of their accents, they must have been from the west island, but it could have also been Laval, maybe a mix of the two, the spot is sort of in between the two locations. The way they acted reminded me of when I had just graduated high school. They seemed about that age, too.
My gaze turns to the menu and I concentrate. They had 24 different items to choose from. Suddenly I wasn’t so sure of what I was going to get. Hot dogs, poutines, fries, pogos, onion rings. Even spaghetti. Lord knows I would never get spaghetti from a place like this, but I respect them for putting it out there. My eyes are squinted, attempting to read everything and see the poor-quality photos.
Finally, a picture caught my eye. Lettuce, tomato, chicken, bacon, and mayonnaise, brought together with toasted white bread, cut into four triangles, and held together by a wooden spear. The Club Sandwich. I had never tried one before. As a kid a steered clear of anything that had raw tomatoes in it. Even with the possibility of removing the tomato I still wouldn’t do it. How ignorant of me. I thought long and hard about this one, I’d be losing my Club Sandwich virginity at the orange julep. This thought made me laugh, and so I went with it.
I ordered the club sandwich. I switched the fries for some onion rings, and I also got the orange julep for a post-meal treat. Robby only got the Orange julep, but he asked for it extra thick, turning it into a more milkshake consistency, which was an act of genius.
We get to the car after a few minutes of waiting, at this point all the boys from before were driving off in their parents ‘ vehicles. We got into my busted-up KIA SOUL which was still rocking the spare tire. I didn’t want to eat and drive, I was going to relax and really enjoy this one.
I was told to add extra mayo to every bite, so that’s the first thing did. The countdown began, I brought the sandwich to my mouth and closed my eyes as I took my first bite. Magic. It’s crazy when something so simple can bring so much happiness. Something that’s been in front of you for so long but you never took the chance. It was so easy.
The Club Sandwich was amazing. It’s made its way to my top 5 sandwich list. Immediately. I was dance-eating, joyously nodding my head as I chewed. I would definitely be getting another club in the future. I downed half in under 5 minutes and gave the other half to Robby. I didn’t want to be too full because it was late. The onion rings were too thick to enjoy so I gave those up too, I like when they’re thin and crispy. I wiped the mayo from my face and readjusted my seat. I was leaving happy. Leaving with a new memory. I couldn’t wait to tell others about what happened.
I rolled down the windows, and me and Robby smoked cigs while we sipped on our delicious orange beverages. We sat in silence and let the music play. I was going to have a good night of sleep I thought, and I did.
