Eastbound

Prelude:

 Two or three weeks until I leave on my trip to the East. Maine, Nova Scotia, then New Brunswick, maybe P.E.I. I barely have any money saved—about five hundred Canadian, which is probably only three fifty American. Thankfully I have one more paycheck before I leave, and I’ll get another one about halfway through.

 Saving money has always been my biggest challenge, but I’ll be damned if I let it stop me. Not to be dramatic. I just feel like if I don’t go, I’ll always be thinking and never really doing. It’s also my first trip alone. First time I am driving into the US alone. First time going to Maine. I’m excited to explore. So if I don’t go I feel like it’s a sign that I hate myself. So I’m going. I’m gonna munch on lobster rolls by the water. I’m gonna hike Acadia National Park, or most of it. I’m gonna ride the ferry over the ocean. I’l fight a bear or a shark, whichever comes first. Whatever I gotta do to survive.

 I haven’t done much planning past Maine, in fact I don’t even really know what I’ll be doing in Maine, but I know I’ll think of something. If I gotta camp in my car for a few nights, so be it. Carpe Diem.

Beginning

 I woke up early. My bags were already packed and stacked by the door. There were just a few things I had to do before I left. Like shutting my water, because coming back to a flooded apartment wouldn’t be the best thing ever. I also had to take down my air conditioning. I would have left it in had my window not been covered by duct tape and cardboard, filling the gaps where the a/c wasn’t. The squirre;s would surely break in, as they’ve tried in the past. Once that was taken care of I began to bring my bags to the Kia.

 Upon packing I found my laptop bag and decided I’d actually use it, unlikely for me usually but I’m in a growing period. In return to my heroism, I drew blood. This laptop bag was once used to store my weed whenever I’d visit my parents, so I was checking the pockets to make sure there were no leftovers for the border to find. Apparently, I’d also been storing a loose razor blade. I bled a lot, even leaving a trail heading down my hallway. A surprise for my friend Cam when she comes to water the plants.

 I wasn’t going to the hospital, though. Nothing is stopping me from going. I wrapped it up in a towel and left. I stopped at a pharmacy before leaving the island. I realized while staring down the band-aids that I should also buy a first-aid kit. The last thing I did before leaving was grab a pack of belmonts and a large polar pop at the couche-tard next door. I stained their soda machine with my blood which was dripping through the band-aid. I hope they sanitize.

 Finally, my journey began. I turned on my GPS, which for some reason won’t change from Spanish to English, and I drove. Not stopping until four hours later, once I had passed the border.

The drive through south east Quebec is beautiful. The greenery is breathtaking, The rocks rock. The twists and turns, the ups and downs. It’s a long drive, sure, but I never got bored. I sang along to tunes, smoked cigarettes, and drank redbull. The beauty didn’t stop at the border, either. Once I entered the U. S. of A. I was welcomed by lakes and rivers, following me down the 27 south. The highway was decorated in american flags, as if I didn’t know where I was.

 I stopped once I was about two hours away from Bar Harbor, at this place called Rolling Fatties. It was a small lil’ patio resto run out of somebody’s house. They served burritos and beer, two things I was willing to indulge in. It was a quick bite before heading back on the road.

 Unfortunately, the drive from there wasn’t as nice as it was before. There were more cars on the road and it felt less comforting, less peaceful. I was also beginning to feel pretty tired. A single midday beer always gets me like that…. But I made it.

 The Isleview Motel, located in Ellsworth, Maine, just a 15 minute drive from Bar Harbor and Acadia. My room is tiny, but it has everything one could want, bed, bathroom, lights. No complaints.

Maine - August 12

 After a small rest period I made my way into the city. I park about ten minutes away to avoid paying for parking. I started speed-walking. I was on the hunt for a lobster roll.

 Bar Harbor itself is pretty underwhelming, just your average tourist spot littered with overpriced gift shops and tours. Not really my style. Not to mention my lobster roll and oysters were very disappointing. That was my fault. I went to a restaurant based on the view and not the reviews. My oysters were fine if I don’t count the pieces of broken shell I had to spit out, it was like eating sunflower seeds. The lobster roll lacked flavor, but I have to admit the buns were perfectly toasted and gave that nice crunch when you bit into it. Leaving your lips butter flavored. When I was done with my meal I went up to the bar to pay. There, I spotted the culprit who fed me shell shards. I took one look at him and I understood. Though service was bad, I still tipped. One thing I’ve noticed is that people only swipe cards here. I found that to be quite strange. After dinner I drove around the island and got lost for an hour or so. It was awesome.

 Now, I’m back at my little motel room getting ready for bed, redressing my room, and writing mad-libs. I’ll be getting up early tomorrow to hike, and hopefully I’ll have better luck with food too. I can’t believe my best meal today was a couple cigarettes and a redbull.

Maine - August 13

 I woke up around 7am to my alarm yelling. I quickly hit snooze and did so about five more times before finally getting out of bed. I grab my gear (pants, hoodie and a bag), and go. I didn’t know tis until last night but the island is actually called Mount Desert Island, and Bar Harbor is just one of the towns that reside on it. This island is huge, with vast forests, hiking trails, beaches, lakes, and lobster pound named restaurants.

 The hike I was doing today is called Ship Harbor trail, located in the southwest harbor. The drive was scenic. I stopped by the gas station and got some water and snacks.

 The trail was short. About an hour, maybe less. I was there for about 2 or 3. I decided to sit on a rock, looking at the ocean. I pondered. I pondered hard. I wrote letters, thoughts. If I’m being honest I also got a little lost. The sounds of waves crashing, seagulls barking. I was entranced. I was also lost physically, I ended up walking down the beach for too long and I was pretty far from the trail. I didn’t care though. I had water, and a pack of pepperoni pizza flavored combos. I could’ve stayed there for at least another hour, but I snapped out of it and headed back.

 I rested at home base for a bit before heading back out. I had to do some scavenging for my dinner by the water later. First stop was Bar Harbor Cellars. A local winery. All their wines are natty, with their fruits coming from local co-ops and independent growers (I copied that from the back of the bottle). Next was C-Rays lobster for some fried fish. Unfortunately they didn’t serve that. But they did serve blueberry pie, so I grabbed one of those to go. Before coming to Maine I had no idea blueberries were so popular here. They’re so popular that they have gift stores dedicated to selling blueberry themed/flavored products. Similar to how Montreal does it with maple syrup. Anyways, the nice man had pointed me in the direction of DownEast Lobster Pound. Just past the Trenton bridge on the way to Ellsworth. I grabbed an order of fish and chips and made my way over to the trenton beach.

 The dinner was good. The wine had a nice lemony taste that went well with the fish, and the fish wasn’t perfect but it was alright at least. Still an upgrade from last night. I finished it all with a pie and two more glasses of wine. Listening to the gulls playing, or fighting. Or begging for a bite. It was peaceful.

 I went back to my room to rest, talk with Steph on facetime, and watch Cable TV. I couldn’t decide between the Gospel Channel or forensic files. Both would give me nightmares. I ended up falling asleep to three friars reviewing In n’ out Burger (Link Down Below).

Maine - August 14

 I woke up for another hike to start my day. This time I’d be hitting the Acadia Trail. This one was rocky as fuck. I was running around like a kid. At some points literally running. I had so much energy. It felt nice. The Valley point view is stunning. You could see all the boats coming into the marina.

 The way down was long. I grew severely tired from all that running. All I wanted to do was get back to the room and shower. A luxury I don’t think I’ll have once I hit Nova Scotia. Eventually I made it out. I drove back and rested up before I went back onto the island for food.

 I thought I’d give Bar Harbor another shot. Though I wasn’t a fan, there is still some charm to it. I went around buying treats from different shops on the main street. I got cookies from The Stadium, a little bakery/cafe. They were definitely overpriced for what they were, but I went on. I hit up Graffiti Donuts, which were also underwhelming. If I’m being honest, I wasn’t really in the mood for sweets as I was into spending. I decided I should just get some real food and eat it in the park overlooking the water.

 I went to a place called Galyn’s. One of those places that like to put the date they opened up underneath their name. Honestly it had to be good if it had been up that long. Besides, I was craving some clam chowder and it was the first thing I spotted on the menu. I went to the lovely lady working the bar and gave her my order of clam chowder, roasted beets, and a fried haddock sandwich. I had the chowder at the bar with a beer while I waited for the rest of my order. I devoured the chowder as I watched the staff talk shop. Before I knew it I was at the bottom of the bowl, taking the spoonfuls of creamy potatoes and oyster shaped crackers.

 I paid for my meal, grabbed my to-go items and headed to the park. Honestly I don’t remember having beats before today but I am so glad I got them. They were probably the best thing I had. Topped with creamy goat cheese, roasted pecans, and pomegranate molasses. My only complaint was the lack of pecans. The only thing I can say about the haddock sandwich is I didn’t care for it. It was just not interesting.

 To forget this sandwich I jumped in my car and toured the island again. Stopping every ten minutes or so for pictures. The Kia is an extension of my body at this point. I don’t think I could have come here without a car. Moving along the coast makes me feel like I'm in a movie. Nature is beautiful. I know I repeat that word a lot but what else can I do? (I know there are things I could do). Nature is beautiful, though. You can’t deny it. If you’ve ever seen a tree. Anyways.

 I went back to my motel room to rest. It’s my last night in the area before I go to Portland for the day. I might go back out later for a night walk, or simply chill by the fire pit with the leftover wine I have. What I actually did was look up things to do in my area on google. I found myself at a hotel bar, at the Bluenose, watching Bill Trowell graciously playing the piano. I was in a dream state. The beer had me tipsy, and the piano had me in my feelings.

 After about an hour I went back home to bed. Starving myself so that I could eat well in Portland tomorrow, as it’s known for its good eats.

Maine - August 15

 I really wish I looked up things to do before driving three hours to Portland. A place I’d have to drive another three hours back from to get to my motel. It wasn’t all bad, I sat at Mami and had lunch on the terrasse. It gave me time to read. Portland is a port city, so it’s a lot like the Old Port back in Montreal. Maybe it’s me, maybe it was the gloomy weather, but I was not enjoying myself. No matter how hard I tried. That is until I found the lighthouse.

 Just on the coast of South Portland is the Portland Head Light. It may look like any ol’ lighthouse but the vibes I was feeling were fantastic. I sat by the rocks for about an hour, just people watching, reading, and gazing out towards the ocean.

 My drive back was an event. It involved karaoke, talking to myself, and bursts of unexplained laughter. I was on the road today longer than I was in Portland. I don’t mind, though. Driving has to be one of my favorite parts of this trip, no matter how much it tires me up. I feel like I’m in my own world. As they say it’s the journey.

 Tonight, I’ll be finishing the wine I bought because I can’t bring an opened bottle over the border (I think, I didn’t bother looking it up).

Middle

 I woke up around 7:30 am. I was exhausted. Last night around 3, the fire alarm went off. I had left my room with nothing but the clothes on my body and my phone. If there was an actual fire all my stuff would have been devoured, including my car keys. Luckily it was a false alarm, nevertheless, me and all the other guests were waiting outside until somebody would come, I especially had to wait because my room key was also left behind in a rush. I wasn’t mad though. It was the first time I had any conversation longer than “Hey, can I get [..]” blah-blah-blah. It felt nice to feel some sort of connection to someone.

 I’m packed up and ready to go. The drive through Maine is so incredible. Bountiful trees. Different shades of green. Winding roads. It was so much fun. My energy was at a high this morning, probably due to the Red Bull I chugged. Crossing the border was quick and easy. I’m always afraid I stumble on my words and they set the dogs on me.

No dogs today, I’m back in Canada and motivated to get to point B (Actually Point C, Point B was a Taco Bell in St Johns). We have so many trees here. We’re lucky. It must be breathtaking to drive through here in the fall. Eventually, I got to an industrial part of New Brunswick that killed my vibe, up until I got to Digby Ferry.

 Upon arriving I really thought I was heading toward a bridge, at least that’s what my Google Maps led me to believe. I thought what the heck, I wanted to ride a ferry anyway, and I still had some good money leftover. I got a ticket and drove aboard. I needed the rest honestly. It also gave me time to read and take pictures. Seeing the ocean horizon is always cool. it just stops. Like the world ends there, and as you go further the land behind you slowly fades away. For a small amount of time it felt like I was in the middle of nowhere. It felt awesome. The ride was over after two hours, I was finally in Nova Scotia. I just had to drive about two hours to get from Digby to Liverpool.

Nova Scotia - August 16

 The drive was as nice as all the others, although I do miss the nicely paved roads of the USA. The kia does too. I’m gonna treat her to a trip to the garage when I make it back.

 I stopped at the grocery store to pick up some food. This was about ten minutes from the campsite. It’s a foggy day, hopefully it doesn’t rain.. I get to the campsite. My heart is beating so fast out of excitement, fear and curiosity! What’ll happen? Immediately the view is spectacular, a little foggy but still. You can hear the waves from the atlantic crashing in.

 There was no time to gaze, not until my camp was set. I had about an hour to get it up and running. It’s do-able, but I don’t want to risk setting up in the pitch black. I had so much energy though, and I had both of my tents set up in a jiff. It had me sweating and heating up. Some layers needed to go. That means the bug spray goes on. Everything was set and pristine. Except my main tent had a hole in it, but I’d fix that up later.

 Fire time. I collected some scraps from the previous guests and got it started. It wasn’t long before the flames were going. I throw on my cast iron. I’ll be making steak tonight, with a little garlic butter. I checked the beach out while the steak was cooking. Unfortunately I stayed a bit too long, and I cooked the steak a bit longer than I wanted, but the seasoning and flavor was there, just a little more chew. No big deal.

 I tried cleaning the pan and cutting board in the ocean, but the waves were too aggressive, so I ended up soaking my socks and shoes. I do a quick change and get to cleaning the camp. I didn’t want any food remnants around for some critters to get to.

 It was finally dark out, and time for bed. I escape to the tent and tuck myself in. I had no idea what was to come.

Nova Scotia - August 17

 Last night was truly a nightmare. I think I was going crazy. I didn’t sleep for more than two hours at a time. The booking forgot to mention a certain foghorn that goes off every 5-10 minutes. Minutes felt like hours. The noises of the forest creatures were no help (Watching Blaire Witch last week was a bad idea). I ended up making these makeshift earbuds out of stuff I found in the medkit. Thank god I bought that. The earbuds were able to tune out the rustling and the waves crashing, but the foghorn played on, drilling in my head. Waking me up every so often. It didn’t help that I was starting to feel a cold coming. Eventually it was early enough for me to leave and find something to do. The foghorns were still going off when I left.

 I got on the highway and made it back to Liverpool. I stop at the Tim Hortons and order an iced coffee. I then sat in the parking lot and looked up exciting things near me. “Horsehead Rock” pops up. I say whatever and make my way there. It is exactly what it sounds like.

All I’m thinking is why did I come here alone. The depression really kicked in fast. Feelings of loneliness settling in. Feelings I’m sure were there since day two but it was easier to ignore. My mind is always on, I can’t stop overthinking every single thing.

I take a picture of the rock and leave. Making my way to a place called Cosby’s. A garden I passed by on my way to the horse rock. I pop in just to see, and I’m welcomed by this giant concrete sculpture. My attention is grabbed, and I’m not thinking about anything for the first time since I woke up. As I progress, I’m introduced to more, each one unique in their own ways. It reminded me of that scene in Percy Jackson when he meets Medusa. There are about 70 or so spread out in this grand forest walk. It was a nice taste of fantasy and wonder.

I got back to my car and needed to distract myself again, quickly. It was time for a trip down to Peggy’s Cove to climb rocks and eat Lobster rolls. I did just that. It was a lot busier than last year when I came with my family. I took some time to think back to memories of us goofing off while I scoffed down a lobster roll from Tom’s Lobster Shack. It brought a smile to my face, but also some sadness.

On my way back I changed Air BnB’s for the 18th. Which meant I would need to survive another night before getting the peace I so desperately needed. When I got back to camp though, the foghorn was still ringing. So I sat in my car and thought. I decided on two things:

There was no way I’d be doing two weeks alone. I had planned on hitting P.E.I. after this, but at this moment, I didn’t quite care for it. I’d start making my way back on the 19th. Realizing this, and confirming it with myself. It was so relieving. Honestly, I’m ready to go home. I miss people. Human Connection. If I was staying in places where I could grab a hostel and be surrounded by people, and have the option to actually make those connections. I could probably last longer than a week, but being completely alone… It gets boring. I’m getting lonely. I’m getting depressed. I feel like I’m going crazy. I miss Steph. I miss Cam, I miss my family, I miss so many people. So I’m going. And that’s okay.

 With that high of realization, I heard the foghorn going off still, the rain falling on my car.

I was leaving this campsite tonight. I got to work and began to take down my camp. I’m throwing everything in my car. I left the engine on during all of it. Sorry nature. I.O.U. I packed everything and left within 20 minutes.

 It felt good. I got to a parking lot and started calling up motels. The only one with a room was a best western, a king’s suite. I’d be spending some money, but it was worth the peace and happiness. So I check in. The room is huge. I take off my shoes and jump onto the massive bed. I’d be sleeping like a star tonight. Meaning I’d literally be in a star shape, spread. I get ready for bed and call Steph for a much-needed call to vent to see how she is. I needed a conversation. Unfortunately, the connection kept failing, and so we went to texting.

 Despite everything, changing AirBnB’s, leaving camp, getting a king suite, driving around. I did so much to try and stop the sadness from taking over. I just couldn’t stop it, and so I cried myself to sleep. Maybe it was what I needed. I’m hopeful tomorrow is better.

Nova Scotia - August 18

 I did need that cry. I was feeling up today. I could see the light, but I still had some dark clouds to go through. I was still feeling lonely. The sky was gray and the roads were foggy, doing no help for my mood, but I was eager to start my day.

 I went to McDonalds for breakfast and got their pancakes. They did not disappoint. From then the day was actually pretty good. Apart from a few low moments in the car. My mind floods my good thoughts with bad ones. I just turn the music up. Overthinking is torture, overthinking is like that damn foghorn.

I spent my day exploring a bit of the south of Nova Scotia. I went as far as Shag Harbour. Not that I could see any of it through the thick heavy fog. Thank god I didn’t camp last night.

The south shores had an eerie vibe to them. I was kind of enjoying it. Eventually, I stopped by an old UFO Info Centre, dedicated to some crash that happened here in the 60s. The Shag Harbour UFO. The museum was five dollars, plus the thirty dollars of merch I left with. Inside felt like a science fair was going on, with bristle boards on fold-up tables tapped up with printed sheets about UFOs and more. It was interesting. I left the center and went to the actual crash site. I didn’t see any aliens, but I did see a public bathroom, the inside shocked me more than any alien could.

After about two hours I headed back to my new home base. A 1960s camper decked out in wood, plaid, and beaver-themed curtains. Located on a farm about an hour away from Peggy’s Cove, and about twenty minutes away from any restaurant or grocer. I like it here. It’s peaceful, quiet. There are ducks, trails, mushrooms, and sheep. Chickens. I wish I had been here sooner, but tomorrow I will make my way back home. Stopping somewhere in New Brunswick, or maybe Quebec City.

At night, the rain falls hard onto the camper roof. I stayed awake listening to the ambiance, eventually passing out.

END

 I began my drive home. The further I went the more I found my smile again. As I’ve probably mentioned earlier, the driving has been the best part of this trip. The journey as they say. Corny but true. There were some good parts, there were some bad parts. But I’m glad I went. I was well-fed, I didn’t die. That’s all you can hope for. I did a lot of the things that I wanted to do, and I tried most of them. That’s the best you can do. Appreciate what you’ve done. Appreciate yourself. Discover.

 There’s a lot I’ve learned from this trip. Teachable moments. Things I’ve learned about myself. Hot dogs can be red, but also pink and brown. Which is something people don’t question, especially at the gas station. Which is weird, but I guess that’s how the world works. Take a solo trip, and explore. Have fun, Challenge yourself. Poop in a compostable bag because your campsite doesn’t have a toilet. Live.

Epilogue

 I got home around 7 p.m. I take a moment to unpack, both my bags and my trip itself. Process some things. I load some laundry, I light a candle because I left some garbage out for the week. Open the windows, and feel the light breeze pour in. Smile

 Later that night I saw some friends. I held back tears. I was very glad to see them.